Giant Dogs and a Photo Shoot Meltdown: Premiere of ‘Vanderpump Rules: Lisa Las Vegas’

^{Lisa Vanderpump’s hotel opening gets the reality-TV treatment in Bravo’s “Vanderpump Rules: Lisa Las Vegas.” (Photo: Sandra Esparza / Casinos.com)}

LAS VEGAS – Lisa Vanderpump is putting her name on a Las Vegas hotel, and apparently that means personally inspecting everything from the chandeliers to the minibar vibrators. Someone has to maintain standards.

“Vanderpump Rules: Lisa Las Vegas,” the newest reality show on Bravo, follows her transformation of the Cromwell into the Vanderpump Hotel, with paying guests due before the dust has settled. In this recap of the first two episodes, Lisa races toward opening day, the VPR newbies turn a marketing shoot into a pay dispute, and her late dog Giggy gets a tribute most of us couldn’t afford while alive.

You can watch the full episode here, and/or read below for all the spoilers:

EPISODE 1

Lisa Vanderpump’s late dog is getting a statue. Her restaurant staff would like a modeling fee. Only one of these requests is going over well.

“Vanderpump Rules: Lisa Las Vegas” on Bravo follows the restaurateur’s race to open her namesake hotel on the Strip. Three episodes, an unfinished hotel and a cast of people who can turn a photo shoot into a grievance. I’m seated.

After watching Golden Nugget security break up hallway sex on “Secret Life of a Vegas Casino,” I thought I was prepared for another casino reality show. Here, Lisa is inspecting minibar vibrators and commissioning a giant statue of her dog. Same city, very different staff meeting.

For those living under a rock, Lisa Vanderpump is the former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star and restaurateur whose West Hollywood restaurant, SUR, spawned Vanderpump Rules. She built a television empire on attractive employees making terrible decisions. Now she’s giving them access to a hotel.

Giggy Gets the Vegas Treatment

The hotel’s lounge, Gigolo, pays tribute to Lisa’s beloved late dog, Giggy, whose name and likeness are getting prime real estate on the Strip.

Lisa wants a sexy bar and a towering statue of Giggy. Forget dog-friendly hotels. Most people memorialize their pets with a framed photograph. Giggy is getting bottle service.

Lisa openly entertains the possibility that Giggy was her favorite child, despite having two human ones. Hard to dispute the rankings when one child is getting a statue and the other is helping with the cocktail menu. She also pledges a portion of her proceeds to help dogs.

Unfortunately, the bar still needs to be built. Small detail.

The rooms aren’t ready, the lounge isn’t finished, and now there are birds in the building. Lisa has enough to do without personally evicting wildlife. Lisa considers whether some bird poop might bring her luck. We’ve reached the stage of construction where being shat on would count as progress.

Kevin Lee Arrives With Flowers and Baggage

Enter Kevin Lee, Lisa’s longtime friend and party planner. He’s here to arrange flowers, but first he needs to explain himself. Welcome back to working for a Housewife.

His offense? Working with Kyle Richards, Lisa’s former Beverly Hills castmate and ex-bestie. Their friendship imploded during Season 9’s “Puppygate” saga, and apparently the blast radius still covers floral vendors in Nevada.

Lisa tells Kevin she considered him family and feels betrayed. He apologizes, then suggests in his confessional that she should get over it. Kevin. Have we met Lisa?

Apparently, you can forgive a man and still need to discuss his invoices to Kyle Richards.

Kill the Pink

Designer and business partner Nick Alain is helping transform the former Cromwell through their company, Vanderpump Alain. He’s responsible for making Lisa’s ideas happen, which would be easier if she’d stop having new ones.

First on Lisa’s hit list: the existing pink.

Yes, Lisa Vanderpump wants to “kill the pink.” When this woman turns against pink, you know the décor has committed a serious offense.

Lisa pitches more changes to the Caesars executives and explains her approach to compromise: they say no, she keeps talking, and eventually the answer improves.

Then the trees essential to the entrance and lounge walkway threaten to miss their arrival date. Lisa wonders whether she’s supposed to pull a replacement tree out of her ass. That’s one way to get a fourth episode.

Next on the inspection list: a minibar intimacy kit containing a vibrator. Lisa examines the equipment and considers whether she wants her name attached. The hotel may be behind schedule, but someone’s getting a happy ending.

Imagine being the person who has to demonstrate that at a meeting.

Fireball and Family Feelings

At the showroom, Nick recalls thinking Lisa wanted a discount when they first met. Now they’re opening a hotel together. Probably should have just given her the discount.

Lisa tries a shot of Fireball cinnamon whiskey and immediately regrets it. Finally, something in Las Vegas she has no interest in putting her name on.

But seeing the Vanderpump name on the hotel brings a sincere pause. Her daughter, Pandora, calls, and Lisa reflects on the significance of the project for her family.

Pandora is Lisa’s daughter and her business right hand, and Lisa wants us to know she earned the job. To be fair, having Lisa as both your mother and your boss sounds like two full-time jobs.

Seeing the sign with her husband, Ken, makes Lisa emotional. She wants to be remembered as a businesswoman, wife, mother and philanthropist. Putting your name on a Strip hotel is a fairly good start.

And yes, I got a little emotional too. Then I remembered the minibar vibrator.

SUR Goes to Vegas

For the hotel’s promotional shoot, Lisa turns to SUR’s finest. They know the brand, they love a camera, and surely they can behave for one afternoon.

Natalie Maguire, a longtime SUR bartender from the Vanderpump Rules reboot, arrives to help with cocktails. She can mix a drink and flirt at the same time, which should cover most of the job requirements.

Angelica Jensen, Venus Binkley, Chris Hahn, Marcus Johnson and Audrey Lingle roll into Vegas with one season of Vanderpump Rules under their belts. The newbies have barely broken in their reunion seats, but a hosted trip already has them ready to discuss appearance fees.

Angelica models and has a swimwear business. Chris wants a music career, Marcus DJs, and Audrey acts. Venus considers himself the peacemaker, which sounds exhausting already. Does anyone just want to work at the restaurant?

Their assignment is to help promote the hotel and Gigolo’s cocktails through photos and video. Pandora’s creations include the Slow Burn, a smoked blackberry old-fashioned, which appears considerably more prepared for its close-up than some of the talent.

It’s 1 p.m., and some of SUR’s visiting talent think they should already be three drinks deep. They’ve come to advertise the cocktails and would appreciate a head start on product research.

Lisa asks for great pictures and no messing around. Lisa, you brought the cast of Vanderpump Rules. What did you think was going to happen?

‘26 Minutes Later’

“26 minutes later,” the screen informs us, Lisa gets a call. Even a Strip wedding has a better chance of making it through the afternoon.

Angelica has raised concerns about using her name and likeness for the hotel without being paid for modeling. The team points to the rooms, dinners and club arrangements provided for the trip. The complaint is that those perks don’t constitute a modeling fee.

I’m all for knowing what you’re being paid. Ideally, you ask before you’re naked in the hotel bathroom.

Lisa has missing trees, an unfinished lounge and now a conversation about Angelica’s talent agency. She questions why anyone came if they didn’t want to participate and wishes she’d hired local professional models. Starting to see the appeal.

When the pay concern comes up directly, Lisa offers an alternative compensation package: “Go home.”

She wanted pictures of people enjoying her hotel. Twenty-six minutes later, she’s ready to check someone out.

EPISODE 2

Angelica Signs, Everyone Survives

After all that, Angelica agrees to sign and take part. She explains that there was a communication issue involving her manager and talent agency. Lisa makes clear she can sit out the modeling if she doesn’t want to do it.

All that, and she signs anyway. We could have been taking pictures this entire time.

By breakfast, Angelica has flown back to Los Angeles for a commercial shoot. Everyone else has stories about belly-button shots, and someone has mistaken the hotel-room safe for a microwave.

Please tell me nobody tried to heat up leftovers with their passport.

An IV Drip and a Deadline

Lisa gets an IV from her doctor neighbor and wants to know whether she can have wine with it. Vegas is embracing wellness. Lisa would like hers with a glass of wine.

The soft opening is approaching, with the big celebrity-and-press party roughly two weeks later. That leaves uniforms, menus, guest rooms, lighting, artwork, a taxi and an enormous dog to sort out. Just a few finishing touches, if your definition of “finishing touches” includes somewhere for paying guests to sleep.

Kevin Lee, meanwhile, appears to have confused the opening date with the party date.

Kevin thought he had until the party. The paying guests, inconveniently, have reservations.

Trees Are Fake, Stress Is Real.

We finally learn why those essential olive trees have been held up: agriculture officials stopped them, and the manufacturer had to provide a letter explaining that they weren’t real.

I’m sorry. We’ve spent all this time worrying about trees that don’t even photosynthesize?

The fake trees finally clear agriculture. Now nobody can find a truck to pick them up. At this point, send the SUR van. It’s already transported things that look good and don’t do much.

When the trees finally arrive, Kevin gets to work. Lisa has forgiven him for working with Kyle, but she’s still putting him up a ladder. Forgiven, darling. Not comfortable.

Then comes a flower-covered London taxi. Getting it inside involves enough weight and cracking to make Lisa picture the whole thing ending up downstairs at Drai’s.

Most people take the stairs to the club. Lisa nearly sends a cab.

Once it’s in place, Lisa jokes that she doesn’t like it. Nick deserves a drink. Several, actually.

Giggy Has Arrived – and He Has a Better Outfit Than You

Nick saves the statue reveal for Lisa and Ken, and I’ll give him this: it’s adorable.

Giggy appears in an oversized suit and tie, complete with the little details Lisa remembers. She and Ken are visibly moved. Flashbacks show the tiny dog being dressed, carried and adored, which explains why a modest plaque was never going to cut it.

Lisa wants another statue. Naturally, Nick has already made one for her.

Two statues and a bar named after him. Angelica, this is what an established brand looks like.

The Family Behind the Name

A wall of photographs takes Lisa through her family, early modeling jobs and, somehow, Kyle Richards. Cue the “Goodbye, Kyle” flashback. For someone who isn’t in this show, Kyle is getting an awful lot of screen time. Does she get a room too?

Then Lisa sits down with Nick and Ken, and the mood changes.

She says her parents were good people but rarely offered affection or praise. They didn’t support her reality-TV career and didn’t attend Pandora’s wedding. She recalls waiting until her father’s final days to hear him tell her he loved her.

Her father’s will didn’t mention her either. She wanted his estate to go to her late brother’s children, but she still wanted to feel acknowledged. Ken, she says, gave her the love and support she’d been missing.

That part got me. She’s opening a hotel with her name on it and still wishes her parents could tell her they’re proud.

New Chips, Same Missing Rugs

Back on the casino floor, the Cromwell chips are being replaced with Vanderpump-branded chips. Lisa inspects the dice and playing cards and wonders whether her face is on the queen.

It isn’t. Give her a minute.

Lisa has a go at the tables and jokes that marrying Ken was her big gamble. Then she wonders about throwing people off buildings, old Vegas-style, and suggests she has about six in mind. I’m going to need Andy Cohen to ask for names.

Back to the actual to-do list: missing rugs, unfinished tables and a picture waiting to be hung. Nick keeps explaining that everything can’t happen immediately. Lisa keeps asking why it hasn’t.

Lisa wants the uniforms, tables, chips and practically her underwear to coordinate. Those rugs had better turn up in the right color.

She also meets Gigolo’s staff and praises the career hospitality professionals she finds in Vegas, as opposed to the Los Angeles crowd using bar work as a stepping stone.

Somewhere in Los Angeles, Angelica’s ears should be burning.

Welcome! Please Ignore the Ceiling

The sign lights up, the rugs are found, and the first guests arrive.

The hotel is open. If you’re looking for the finishing touches, so is Lisa.

A chandelier hasn’t been hung, artwork still needs placing, and guests are checking in upstairs while work continues below. Lisa plays welcoming hostess. Please enjoy the lobby. Please don’t look too closely at the ceiling.

The episode ends with a woman who says she’s a regular at the hotel giving Lisa her review, in person. The shower needs more pressure, the closet can’t fit enough of her things, and there’s a problem with the coffee machine.

Lisa asks whether it was plugged in. We’ve gone from a giant dog unveiling to tech support.

The big celebrity-and-press party is still roughly two weeks away. First, Lisa has to get through this woman’s list.

You can put your name on the building, but a regular will still find you to complain about the closet. Welcome to hospitality.

Stay tuned for my Episode 3 finale recap on Casinos.com. The grand-opening party is next, and I need to know whether the chandeliers, the coffee machine and Lisa’s last nerve make it.

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