Viking Slots

Greetings, game players and rowdy gamblers. I’m your slot guide, Bjorn To Be Wild. I’ll be taking you through the next few torturous minutes of your life, just kidding, aye, aye. As we all learn a thing or two about Viking Slots. This includes playing online slots for free and for real money. Maybe, I don’t know.

Why me? Well, I’m so glad you asked because it tees up the next line: Because I was Bjorn to spin reels. Yes, I do Nordic humor as well as remove the heads off of foreign villagers, ha.  

It's at this point of the review where I get to use my next pun, because you’re Gunnar love these games that I have lined up for you, maybe. As a Viking, our life is spent seeking out the ultimate video slot so that we can transcend to a place called Van Halen, where all the cool God dudes hang out. 

The reason for this long-winded intro was to sneak in the pun Ragnor-slot, but I’m so far beyond the point I was making that I cannot be bothered to delete and retype the joke’s build-up. But let’s move on and not rune your experience! 

Below this sentence is a list of my top five Viking slot machines. I selected these to shield you from the not-so-good ones. 

Viking slots can be found in many of the best casinos online and many of the worst casinos online. If you want to hoard real money winnings from an online operator that is legally bound to pay you any amount of money you win as long as that value is within the Terms and Conditions of the game, then Casinos.com can help. 

They provide casino reviews that will help you understand what casinos provide to their members. Games, security, bonuses, customer support, and banking. Use their reviews to help you get the most ideal platform to play from… here it comes…

It’s fjord your own good!

In 1983, Bjorn To Be Wild wrote his book, Memoirs of a Viking. The following is a collection of excerpts highlighting his three reasons as to why Viking slot games found success amongst European and American players once they’d forgotten how to do the Charleston. 

• History – “Vikings were real, I was real, and in understanding that, I had this profound sense of place in history. Something my Home Economics teacher said I would never have. We were mysterious and important. People liked that, they wanted more of it, but then Dallas came out on CBS in 1978, and no one cared for the Vikings anymore.” 
• Design – “Gods, no one did Gods like us Vikings did Gods. And so many of them. Thor, Odin, Freyr, Baldr, Ikea, and Angus Young of AC/DC. All these great Gods that will one day have their own slot machines in honor of their God-like things that they did.” 
• Jackpots – Viking culture had always been big. Everything was bigger. We had Longboats, long beards, long horns, and long hair. With a big culture like ours, you’d have to represent that with, say, big jackpots that feature within online slot machines that don’t exist yet. 

To Be Wild. B. (1983). Memoirs of a Viking. Ladybird Books

So, mobile slots were invented by Vikings. This is a fact. Heard of Ericsson mobiles? Notice the Bluetooth logo is made of two rune symbols? Look, I’m not trying to trick you here, these are facts. The government will deny it, of course, just like they deny weather manipulation and HAARP. The signs are all there, man. HEY!

[Bjorn To Be Wild was shortly removed after this outburst, and what follows is a brief word from our sponsor, Casinos.com.]

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Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached the end of this Viking Slots guide. 

[Audience round of applause]

I leave you now with a brief introduction to other various slot themes, which will lead you to free slot games to play at Casinos.com. But before I depart, one question:

What is this?   - o - - o / o - - o / - - / o - - / o o – o / - o – o / - o / o – o o. 

The answer is: Norse Code!

[Audience round of applause]

Thank you, thank you. 

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