Slot-Shaming: Slots Hall of Shame Inductees

What in the [REDACTED] Fascism is this?!?

You’re reading the title of this slot 100% correctly. 

So, some bright spark who attended the University of Life for about twenty-one years thought that making an online slot themed around the most powerful dictators in history was a wise move. Just to clarify, ‘dictator’ is basically a posh word for mass murderer. I mean, at the point when a single person is responsible for killing even just 1,000 people, you’re almost like, wow, how did they find the time? But know that the number of lives lost to such people is in the millions, and done so with impunity. 

Released in 2017 by Betsense, yes, there is a ‘sense’ of irony in that name; the game has since been wiped from the buttocks of the internet and flushed down the crapper to never see the light of day again. This is good news for all who wish to avoid the game, but ultimately bad news, because I’d like to live the nightmare all over like some sadomasochistic ritual, to see if I can withstand the pain one last time.

To put your curiosity to rest, the players in this slot feature are Hitler, Mao, Napoleon, Stalin, Hussain, Castro, and the stand-up comedian Kim Jong Un. You know, just your typical go-to list when someone asks who you’d invite to dinner, dead or alive. If you don’t know half of these people, then don’t start searching for their info on the web, as you’re likely to get flagged by the CIA. 

Now, the better part of my nature wishes to find the good in all things. I mean, I’m not overly into water sports, but that’s just because I can’t swim, yet I can see why people may get a kick out of it. Now, when it comes to playing the slot Dictator by Betsense… well, I mean, I guess, that it’s very possible that Pol Pot should have been added. The former PM of Cambodia must be turning in his grave, being undercut by Kim Jong Un, especially as Mr. Pot has the better haircut. 

But no, not even I can see any reason why this game should have been made in the first place, and why anyone would want to have played it. Ultimately, the suffering, the torture, and the pain of losing when gambling is enough that games don’t need to be made about those who inflicted it for the LOL’s.

Ladies and gentlemen, the worst casino game ever made, Dictator by Betsense. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, may you forever be un-played. A’-[REDACTED]-men.

Developed by Eyecon, Fluffy Favourites iconically [REDACTED]. Firstly, the design. Wow, it’s like a charity Christmas card. At first, I thought it was made by small people who are ill and dying. But no, Eyecon really are that bad. Think of your least favorite son or daughter, and it’s their picture on your fridge. 

Not even your guests are complimenting it just to be nice. Everything about this game is bad, from sound to features. It’s so bad, in fact, that the developer died after being hit by a bus in Malta, and no one attended the funeral. Ah, well, memory lives on and all that. He’s not really dead, but that sense of uncaring about it validates how [REDACTED] this game is.

Mythic Wolf by Rival Gaming might just be the worst slot I've ever subjected myself to – and that’s a competitive field. The opening “cinematic” is an incoherent mess of wolves, feathers, dice, and despair, setting the tone for a game that looks like it was designed during a blackout in 1997. The visuals are grotesque, the theme a confused blend of discount spirituality, and the soundtrack? Imagine a panpipe solo performed by a feral badger – on loop. Honestly, it should come with a health warning.

Gameplay doesn’t save it. Despite offering 50 paylines, free spins, and a so-called “random win” feature, the experience is as dry as a chalk sandwich. The RTP sits at an offensively low 94.88%, and the max win of €62,500 isn’t nearly enough to justify the $25 max bet. Even the bonus round is so poorly explained that it feels like an urban legend. In short, Mythic Wolf is a dated, painful slog of a slot. If you feel tempted, don’t. Head to Casinos.com and play literally anything else instead – you’ll thank me later.

Hot Hot Fruit by Habanero is what happens when a developer runs out of ideas and decides neon fruit will do. It’s retro-themed, which apparently means "ugly on purpose," paired with music that sounds like it came free with a 1995 modem. The slot runs on a 5x3 grid with 15 paylines, but it plays like punishment. If this game were clinging to a cliff edge, I wouldn’t stop to help – I’d livestream its demise.

Playing it was a joyless exercise in patience. I imagined Habanero's devs pointing and laughing at my pain. The Hot Hot Feature occasionally duplicates symbols, but it’s about as exciting as warm lettuce. This slot sounds better on paper than in reality. Don’t be fooled. Play literally anything else at Casinos.com. Even watching paint dry on a casino wall is more fun – and slightly more lucrative.

How not to include Big Bass Bonanza 1000 in the Hall of Shame? This entry in the Big Bass series might just be the laziest slot release of the decade, and that’s saying something. The original game dropped five years ago, and in all that time, the best we got was the same exact format with a 1,000x multiplier lazily duct-taped on.

It’s not innovation; it’s impersonation. This feels less like a new game and more like a slightly tweaked patch for the first one. And sure, Pragmatic Play has pumped out some solid titles over the years, but this is the creative equivalent of reheating week-old fish.

Slot players deserve better than a never-ending conveyor belt of recycled content. Big Bass Bonanza 1000 doesn’t evolve the series; it drags it deeper underwater.