VOTING: The Royal Flush Awards, From Spotless to Filthy: Vegas Toilets Ranked

Picture the scene: you’re strolling down the Las Vegas Strip. Carrying a yard of frozen alcohol from your preferred daiquiri bar (it’s obviously Fat Tuesdays). When suddenly - nature calls! Luckily, it’s pretty easy to nip into the nearest casino for a quick toilet break. But let’s face it, not all toilets in Las Vegas casinos are made equal. We can only imagine the kinds of things that go on in the stalls at some casinos.

To help make sure that you never experience a dirty toilet in Vegas, we’ve been out there doing some dirty work. Our Vegas expert and newly dubbed CFO (Chief Flush Officer) gives us the lowdown, but we also headed to Tripadvisor, to see exactly which casinos in Vegas have the cleanest and dirtiest toilets.  We looked for mentions of certain keywords like “clean bathroom”, “modern bathroom”, and “hygienic bathroom”, so that we could rank each one.

"And, whilst I don’t generally subscribe to the whole ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ schtick, I did assume my toilet visits would remain a little more discreet than being published on the internet.

Nevertheless, duty calls.

"First of all, having personally sampled (is that the right word for this context?) the facilities at all the properties on our list, I am not sure I can agree with Tripadvisor here. The best toilets in Las Vegas casinos, by far in my opinion, are at Cosmopolitan. I am specifically talking about the ones on the casino floor close to the Chandelier Bar rather than the ones near Vesper Bar, but both are quite lovely. You know, as far as public bathrooms are concerned anyway.

"The toilets have an entrance grander than many downtown Las Vegas casino resorts do, and they somehow keep it smelling fresh and fragrant all the time. Quite the achievement, if that is even remotely an appropriate word here.

"The Palazzo toilets are nice enough, and very similar to those at sister resort The Venetian, but there is one major drawback to both: There is a handwash guy in there. It’s not exclusive to those properties, but he sits on a little stool beside a carefully arranged display of hygiene products ready to leap to the aid of any people who might want their handwashing experience to contain a little more joie do vive.

That’s all well and good, of course, except I don’t think those people actually exist. In fact, a public bathroom is probably the last place you want to be offered joie de vivre by a stranger wearing latex gloves holding a hand towel.

"Note: If you are one of the people who want some joie de vive from your bathroom visit, the place to go would be Resorts World. They have a disco bathroom there, complete with strobe lighting, music, disco balls and mirrored ceilings. 

"Anyway, I digress. I suppose the bathroom handwash guy is harmless enough. However, and you can call me a bluff old traditionalist if you like, but I prefer to escape my public bathrooms without feeling pressure to tip someone for a service. I don’t need the help, thanks. I can handle it. The toilets are Venetian and Palazzo are certainly clean, though.

"The same can be said for The Bellagio, actually, so I am surprised to see it on low down on the list. In fact, my only complaint about their casino restrooms is that it feels there is nearly always someone in there cleaning them. That’s great,t obviously, but it also means they are actually often closed when you want to use them, and what feels like every time you really need them.

"The real hidden gem when it comes to restrooms in Vegas is Park MGM. It’s hidden because it’s not actually the Park MGM bathrooms at all. They are fine, but don’t use them. Sneak into the Nomad reception instead and use theirs. They are spectacular.

"Generally, though, I honestly can’t remember a time when I visited a bathroom in a Las Vegas casino that had poor upkeep. Look, they are toilets. Sometimes, stuff happens in there before an attendant can get there to clean it up. Bad stuff. Stuff we don’t talk about unless you have an editor who specifically asks you to with a begrudgingly admirable persistence. It happens, of course it does. But, generally, they all do a good job in keeping the bathrooms clean.

"Oh, and one final mention for Main Street Station, the proprietors of the most befuddling toilet curiosity I have ever encountered. Their men’s restroom contains a section of the actual Berlin Wall. How it got there, I don’t know. Why it’s there, I don’t really want to know. And what kind of a mind would it require to seek out a bona fide piece of history and import it from thousands of miles away at great cost just to mount urinals to it, I dare not consider.

A section of the Berlin Wall in the toilets of Main Street Station (C: Alamy)

"But anyway, it’s there if you want to use it."

What Do The Reviews Data Say?

Now it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The cleanest toilet in Las Vegas is in The Palazzo at the Venetian, according to reviews. It figures, seeing a room here will set you back roughly $500 per night. 100 reviews used the words “spotless bathroom”, while more than 200 called out “clean toilet”. No dirty loos here. So, let’s dig into those reviews a little. 

Most of the reviews were about the toilets in the actual hotel rooms, so unfortunately you might have to pay the price to be able to visit. One review said, “All rooms have a large spotless bathroom where getting ready to go out actually feels fun and glamorous”.

Second on the list, we have Southpoint Hotel and Casino, which received a pretty impressive 20.52% on the scale. Well over 400 people commented about a “clean bathroom”, while “best bathroom” even came up more than 150 times. 

According to one review, “We love their rooms, especially the large bathrooms including the luxury feel of a separate shower/toilet room!” In fact, the separate toilet room was called out quite a few times in the reviews.

There might be a bit of a pattern emerging here, because the third casino on our list is also off the Strip. The Orleans Hotel & Casino got a rating of an impressive 18.5% on our scale, with more than 1,285 keyword mentions. The ones that came up the most often were “clean bathroom” and “nice bathroom”, each of which appeared in almost 500 reviews. 

And here, we even found some reviews about the casino floor bathrooms, rather than just the ones in the hotel rooms! One said, “Each restroom I used while on the casino floor always had an attendant who was busy cleaning inside. Of all the casinos we visited while on our trip, the Orleans and the Aladdin were the only ones that stood out as far as general housekeeping”.

You might not exactly have a choice as to where you go to the toilet, seeing the casinos in Vegas are deceptively far apart. But let’s just pretend you can control your bladder, and avoid some casino bathrooms. These are the worst of the worst.

We have the MGM Grand at the bottom of the list, which might surprise you a little. It sure surprised us. MGM Grand was rated just 5.64% on our scale. 

One very disturbing review said, “The only issue was the bathroom toilet, which stayed stopped up. We could not use the bathroom for 4 of 5 days of the trip, and no one ever came to fix it, though we were told they would.” We shudder to think where these people actually went to the toilet. Did they go down to the casino floor? Did they go across the road to New York, New York?

Second from the bottom was the Bellagio. What?! A luxurious hotel and casino like this doesn't have good bathrooms? We can’t believe it. Only 800 reviews out of more than 13,000 mentioned one of our keywords, resulting in a rating of 5.90%. We’d like to go ahead and choose to believe that it’s just because people are too busy raving about the rooms and dining options to even care about the toilets, and this doesn't match up at all with our Chief Flush Officer's opinion. 

Or maybe the bathrooms at the Bellagio are just really bad. One person said, “The Toilet was clogged from the very start. It never flushed. It smelled like a sewer the whole time I was there. I had to keep the bathroom door closed while I was out and when sleeping.”

Next up is the Westgate, which, to be perfectly honest, is not a casino we hear about very often. Maybe that’s for a good reason. This one received a rating of 5.99% on our scale, and not one single review used the words “modern restroom” or “luxury restroom”. 

One horrifying review said “Upon check in we examined our room and found dried blood on the toilet”, while another entitled ROACH HOTEL WITH RUDE MANAGER (yes, in all caps) stated that “They did upgrade us to a villa and though it was at least clean, the toilet wouldn’t flush and the shower didn’t work at all”.

Methodology:

Casinos.com utilized Tripadvisor reviews to analyze phrases associated with toilets in depth to determine the Las Vegas casino with the cleanest toilet. We calculated the percentage of toilet-related mentions in the total Tripadvisor reviews.

• Keywords tracked: clean bathroom, spotless bathroom, clean restroom, spotless restroom, clean toilet, modern bathroom, modern restroom, fresh-smelling bathroom, fresh restroom, tidy bathroom, luxury bathroom, luxury restroom, best bathroom, best restroom, amazing bathroom, amazing restroom, nice bathroom, hygienic bathroom

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